SLUTWALK

Tonight on Twitter, I finally broke my strategic silence regarding the Slutwalk. I had chosen not to comment on the movement, or on the Tweets of others because I feel that debate on Twitter is not something I want to waste my valuable anger on. Also because rape, and other sexual abuse is something I feel incredibly, incredibly passionate about. But after a lot of thought, I feel like I'm ready to tackle the subject. In more than 140 characters.

Twitter has been littered with people delivering their opinions on the matter. Men, offering their valuable, insightful thoughts on women who fall victim to the rape crisis (?). Stating that women marching through the streets is not going to stop rape. Proving beyond doubt their ignorance toward the Slutwalk, and the rape crisis in general.

Women complaining that the word "slut" is too crass. Again, not exactly relevant when looking at what exactly the Slutwalk is trying to promote, considering that the Slutwalk's main objective is to raise awareness for rape survivors. To break the stigma attached to women who fall victim to this disgusting crime.The protest movement originated in Toronto, Canada, sparked by a police officer's remark that women could avoid being raped by not dressing like "sluts", which is where the name comes from.

Women 24.com:
"Cape Town - An international protest against the notion that a woman's appearance can explain or excuse attacks has come to South Africa, where rape is seen as a national crisis."

Slutwalk is not about protesting for the right to dress revealingly. It's about the right to be a woman and not be judged by ignorant people, blissfully living their lives with no idea what it feels like to have been violated/or live in fear of being violated in the most personal, most emotionally damaging and humiliating way possible.

It's about the right to wear a swimming costume in front of your uncle and not be molested.
It's about the right to change your mind about wanting to sleep with a guy, even if you have gone home with him.
It's about the right to be a woman and feel safe in the skin and boobs and legs you were given.
It's about being able to speak about your violation, and receive support and protection from society, in stead of blame...not about the right to wear your sexuality on sleeve. (But if that's what you want to do, you should have the right to do it anyway)

I came across this blogpost tonight:

"As a college coed, I sat through my fair share of women’s safety lectures. No presenter ever wanted to say it, but it had to be acknowledged as true: No way a girl who stays in her secured dorm room or heads to the local movie theater with friends on a Friday night runs the same risk of date rape as a girl who dances on the tables or falls down drunk at a college kegger. That’s just common sense."


To this person I have to ask: Are you permanently this stupid? Or was this an isolated incident?


"A girl who stays in her secured dorm room"??
Is this the lifestyle women should aspire to? To live locked up, secured in our homes/dorm rooms/convents in order to avoid rape?! And what about the rest of us, those who do venture out into the harsh light of day, or God forbid: a party at night...what, we just deserve to be raped? 


I want to spit in the eye of the woman who wrote that post.


The truth is, dressing like a "slut" has absolutely nothing to do with rape. Rape is not about lust. It is about power. 


Rape is about men who are sick. Not women who dress in a certain way. A rapist is a breed. There were rapists around long before society had decided what was and what was not to be deemed as "slutty" A rapist will rape "ugly" women, overweight women, old women, children. Regardless of what they are wearing. 


Should children not be allowed on beaches wearing swimwear? Is that "slutty" attire? Are they just be begging for a good raping? And I'm not quite sure how old ladies could possibly dress any less slutty...perhaps they should just not be allowed out at all? 


Would this curb the rape crisis?


Oh, but what about women who are raped by the pigs who break into their homes in the dead of night? Is this their own fault, too? Should they be allowed to dress like "sluts" in their own homes? 


What about babies who are raped? Nine, 10 months old? Did something they were wearing provoke their rapist?


How about the men who are raped in prison? Does anyone honestly think this is about lust and not power? Surely not about what they were wearing?


Being sexually assaulted leaves the victim completely emotionally wrecked and physically broken...powerless. It is about stripping a human of their self worth. About asserting yourself as the most powerful. 


The Guardian UK tells of male rape victims all over the world. 


"It's not just in East Africa that these stories remain unheard. One of the few academics to have looked into the issue in any detail is Lara Stemple, of the University of California's Health and Human Rights Law Project. Her study Male Rape and Human Rights notes incidents of male sexual violence as a weapon of wartime or political aggression in countries such as Chile, Greece, Croatia, Iran, Kuwait, the former Soviet Union and the former Yugoslavia. Twenty-one per cent of Sri Lankan males who were seen at a London torture treatment centre reported sexual abuse while in detention. In El Salvador, 76% of male political prisoners surveyed in the 1980s described at least one incidence of sexual torture. A study of 6,000 concentration-camp inmates in Sarajevo found that 80% of men reported having been raped."


Once again, this has nothing to do with the way they dress, or the way they conduct themselves. 


You may argue that date rape is a different situation. That girls who allow themselves to be alone in a room with a male (gasp!), or who do decide to go home with a male, are to blame. "It's her own fault" you say, around your dinner table.


Have you ever had to fend off a man's advances? Hurt his ego? Have you ever experienced the harsh words of a man who feels emasculated by your disinterest?


Now imagine that emotion in a man with pre-existing power and control issues. Imagine him taking out his frustration at having  his ego bruised  and violently asserting his power in the one way he can... The one way he knows he can permanently damage you.


Date rape is not about lust. It's not about a man being unable to control his sexual urges. It has nothing to do with what the girl might be wearing. It has to do with being the most powerful, most important, most dominant. 


In Uganda, when villages are pillaged by rebels, every woman in the village is raped repeatedly in front of their men. Because the rebels have sexual "needs" and are driven to lustful violence by the what the women are wearing? No. Because they want to show the men in village that they have all the power. That they can break their women, without even having to kill them.


The Gaurdian, UK:
"Sexual violence is one of the most horrific weapons of war, an instrument of terror used against women"

Rape is a weapon. Not a result of a woman's actions.

The blog again, "by taking care to dress in a self-respecting manner and by not putting themselves in potentially compromising situations, women reduce the likelihood that they will be that victim in the first place." It is not a punishment inflicted upon women who somehow "deserve it" because of the way they dress, or the places they go, or the way they conduct themselves!


I sincerely hope that this poor girl never has to be the victim of any sexual abuse. Because if this is her point of view, I can only imagine the years of self-hate and blame she would inflict upon herself.


I fully support the Slutwalk and what it is promoting. I personally know many girls (a lot more than you'd expect) who I grew up with, went to school with-girls who are in no way "slutty"-who have been victims of sexual assault. Some of them refuse to speak about it, because they are afraid of the way society would label them. Girls who walk around for years thinking that it is somehow their own fault...while people who have never experienced the utter anguish of sexual violence wax lyrical about girls who "bring it upon themselves."


I hope that many more girls (and guys) stand up and shout (be it in the Slutwalk marches, online, or around a braai) "I am a victim of sexual violence! And it was NOT my fault!"